Good day confident ladies I was very slim before I got married and over the years plus child bearing I have added serious weight my hubby has never complained but I didn't like it. I didn't do anything about it bcoz I was still bearing children but now I'm done with having kids I have decided to lose the weight tho I know I can't go back to being a size 10 but I want to lose most of the fat. To my surprise dearest hubby said no, that he likes the big me and that's why he has never complained or asked me to lose weight. I went ahead to register in a gym and now we are having issues. He wants the fat and I don't, he says I'm more attractive with it bigger boob's and backside but I don't like it I am team slim. Now my question is 1) should I go ahead and start losing weigh without my husband permission? 2) the verse that says when a woman is married her body is no longer hers, does it mean I don't have a say as to what happens with my body
3) My husband said most women strive to be sexy for their husband and he finds me very sexy so why do I want to spoil that or am I doing it for other men to find me sexy (I know he just said that to get to me as that has never been on my agenda) .
So confident ladies I need your advice should I remain fat for hubby or lose weight and lose his affection.
My Dear sister.
I received your question.
I want you to understand that you have taken a good stand by deciding to watch your weight by caring for your body.
medically speaking, its advisable that excess fat and unnecessary weight be curtailed.
First and foremost; it reduce chances of high blood pressure
Secondly; it reduce possibility of heart failure which can be caused by cholesterol
Thirdly; you are physically fit for complete daily task.
As for your husband, who want you big and full, its not out of place to desire your spouse and have what you are looking for outside, truly he marry you slim, but taste change, with time, and as a good wife desiring to please your husband should be paramount to your activity, but its not without a boundary.
its true that bible mention it that, when you marry you submit yourself to another, and two of you lack power over your body, that's christian position.
But there are exceptions where this can be broken, take for instance , bible say children obey your parent in the lord, does that mean, that if your parent ask you to kill or steal from your neighbor , you must do it?. Absolutely NO!, bible specify obey them in the lord, killing your neighbor is not in lordship of Jesus Christ, if that law can be broken on that ground. relate it to marriage, wife submit your body to your husband in the confine of God's will, adding excess wieght is detrimental to your health, is not in Jesus lordship.
2. The same bible talk about husband love your wife as Christ love the church, the husband should grow to love you for who you are, BEFORE he marry you and AFTER marriage, and that you are not adding weight should not be a reasonable excuse to start flirting around or hate you in quote.
well, its not bad if your husband wish you could be fat, its bad when that wish take half of him, any uncontrolled desire and that my dear sister is a sin. The wish should just remain a wish...
what you need to do is to wisdom and proper communication (bible says a soft answer turneth away wrath..pro 15:1).
Call your husband when is on his nice mood, be very nice in your approach and tell him that you really appreciate his desire not to compromise his marital vow, and his effort to make his wife suit and satisfy him. Appreciate the fact that it is loyalty on his part and love to tell you what he admire outside so he wont go out.
Understand your husband meant well, so appreciate him, just that he his thinking about what he want. some men will not even complain, they will sheepishly look for the feature and practice extra marital affair .
Simply tell him the medical implication of been fat, tell him how uneasy fat people live and let him understand that if this fatness is unease for and it could become an issue, that might generate medical condition as many people suffer, tell him he will have more than what he bargain for, he will begin to help with hospital bill and sorts.
Moreover , tell him you are not happy been fat, if he really love you, he should care a little about what also make you happy.
And lastly tell him you are not going to drain bout, just that you want to watch your weight and be physically to move your body which is to his own advantage.
Pray and tell God what you want. God hears all prayers and he is more interested in making you happy.
May you find peace in your home.
Remain hale and healthy dear. God bless you.
A second reply from our team member:
Why should a woman want to loose weight when her husband doesn't want it. Who is she looking good for?
I mean it's crystal clear that the man says you are hotter and sexier with the big boob's and backside.
For me it's not up for debate.
You should do as your husband wants unless she has other intentions.i don't get it your husband likes it so why should you feel inferior
Dear poster, hope you find answers from the 2 people that replied you, also do note our readers will be dropping their advice in the comment section.
Dear readers do drop your sincere advice in the comment section. Thanks
You have a job to do by convincing your husband why you need to lose weight for your self confidence, your health and even your swag. You also need to assure him the purpose isn't only to be sexy and thereby attracting many toasters. Also you both can come to a compromise say u want to be a size 10 and he feels it's too thin you can do a 12 for his sake and also make him realised that you are comprising for him that your goal was a size 10. I think that should make him feel better knowing he still has a say in your life. Sister you have to be smart don't just tell him No outrightly that will make him feel bad. Make him see reason and don't be in a hurry to start gyming try and win him over I know you can if you are not angry with him for not letting you lose weight in the first place
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